This is so true.
I had thought that my interest in a particular site/forum would last a bit longer…but that’s gone flushing down the toilet. Dull is the perfect word.
I have learned the cliche friendships and the like run the department at such sites. If you’re friends with the top you can only reach to the top. And…it’s simply dull and boring that such a normal thing happened.
I have noticed that several people left around the holidays. The site has lost its ’something’ which attracted people to it. Maybe if the orginal owner or person who started the entire thing was present more often things may be going a bit smoother.
But these are my own personal thoughts. And these thoughts have been fluttering around in my mind for a while now. It’s time to release them.
I wish I knew of another place that I could claim as my own personal online haven…but this is it. And this is mainly a one-sided, no social atmosphere thing. Boring.
If I had the ambititon, drive and purpose I may produce a haven of my own. It’s been in my mind for a while now, but nothing has been produced thus far. Obviously.
What else can I say? I don’t want to stray away from this topic so I guess I’m ending the entry here.
I need help finding another online home lol.
Filed under: Random Thoughts
I have realized that it’s actually quite stupid and nonsensical (I love that word) that I used to ‘hold’ so much when it came to Scribblers and the things/people invovled with it. I do not wish to sound…evil or anything, but I have a few things that need to be said.
First off, it’s only a website. Well actually, a forum. Sure, it’s something to do while bored and I never used to think of it that way. It was like…a daily ritual…with a certain time limit. I used to be on there A LOT and I spent most if not all of my free time available on there. It’s quite sad really now that I think about it.
Now, I do not spend half as much time on there. And I am happy about that. Holding so much stock on people who I only know online and on a forum for entertainment and such…satisfaction is quite mad really.
I have seen the light.
I feel a bit odd that I am discussing this now since I have somewhat attempted to dive back into that atompshere of online insanity. I submitted a new RP character to the site, but I feel no…attachment like I used to with such things. I am happy for it, but it’s funny to me that I would do such when I now feel COMPLETELY DIFFERENT about everything online here.
I like and am grateful for the people I have met online but they and the things that revolve and ‘live’ on this computer cannot be a priority in my life any longer. It did stop during Christmas, but I’m afraid of falling back into that awful and depressing pattern again.
People must live outside 4 falls or they will go insane. It’s a fact.
I am not leaving the site, though I know I will eventually. I hope that day will come soon though, lol. I think the main things holding me there are the editing that I do and things like that. It’d be a waste to me to have spent $100 on a Photoshop program and then have it sit. But, it cannot be the focus of my life.
A new year has begun and I plan on living it as fully as I can if possible, unlike I did last year. A change is needed, I just don’t know what yet. I hope to find it soon. I’m beginning to feel a bit lost when it comes to my whole ‘your place in life’ thing. I hate things like that. But I am going to be of legal age in 3 months, I think it’s time I started to act like it. Things like sitting on the computer all day or at least for the better part of the day are not something an adult should do. I could at least be like the Romanian I am and hang out and go shopping and things like that instead of staring at a box all day. Haha. (‘Hehe’ gets on my nerves anymore. It sounds so…childish.)
I finished all of the Star Wars movies this week. Yes, that’s how bored I have been. Gah. Oh well. I don’t like number 3 though. I liked Anakin as Anakin. Not as Darth Vader. I heart Hayden Christensen.
Well, now I’m off to find something else to do. It’s so early. Wish me luck.
I’m beginning to wonder why I didn’t just drop Scribblers. I had talked and thought about it. But yesterday and today I’ve spent a decent amount of time on there.
I am tired of the drama that is now the main issue with RP. I mean…gah. I wish I had stayed an innocent member.
My stress has reduced since dropping CG. Sim stories are bleh like I said before. But I’m going off topic here.
The drama and crap with RP. And then Newsletter as well. At least I got my pages done yesterday. I come online and it’s like ugh. It was so much better when I first joined and when the only RP I was involved with was HP RP. Now Paperback is like…evil and Open RP is okay, but so random and I just don’t feel like RP anymore.
I’m going to delete my blog on Scribblers most likely. It’s so bleh. The site has gone downhill. Obviously.
I can see myself quitting by summer. In the winter I need something to do, but this by my birthday I bet I’ll be off the site. At least I won’t come on and then one day I’ll remember it and go ‘Oh, yeah’. And then I’ll probably go back on and delete my account.
It’s just so annoying now. It’s no longer a ‘home’. It’s like a stress bucket.
Besides this crap I have nothing else to say. Yes I did vent. Gah. Should have kept that as the title, but oh well.
Filed under: Random Thoughts
Gah. I came online and I was going to do my page for the Newsletter at Scribblers, but now I don’t want to.
I know I said I was thinking about leaving Scribblers, but for now I’m not. And I wanted to do my page because it’s getting close to the first of January. Once I opened up Photoshop I couldn’t think of a design. Which is somewhat unsual for me, I guess. I downloaded a new brush and got a background thing, but I didn’t like it.
It’s like the story for this page is hard to think of a theme for. Bleh.
I have a headahce. I’m most likely going to get offline in a few minutes. I’m just…bleh. I thought I would be excited to be back online like normal I guess you could say, but I’m not. Haha.
So, that’s all. I don’t feel like being on here.
Ciao
To start Christmas is done with. And I’m glad. It was fun and wonderful yet painful. Isn’t it always though? It’s like everyone suffers on holidays. It’s common knowledge.
I got great presents and I think I got too many. But it was all useful and THOUGHTFUL stuff. The stuff I got from my mom and dad…surprised me. I love them to death. Not just because I’m happy with that I recieved from them in the form of these gifts…just how they thought about me. They really thought.
Regrettably my aunt and uncle left yesterday. But they shall return in 4 months. Scratch that 3. Can’t wait. I wish they would just move out here. Oh well.
After the dinner was over with my sister and I did all of the cleaning. I did most of it though-of course. I didn’t mind though. But after that I was worn out. So while my parents went to a few friends and relatives in the same ‘housing district’ or neighborhood if you will, my sis and I stayed home.
It felt good.
I’m so tired right now, but I just wanted to blog because things have returned to a state of normalcy…almost.
I changed the title and the layout. I heart pink and this title. The explanation of it is on the left-hand side if you please.
I’m currently watching Pirates of the Caribbean 2; which is a present from my dad. XD
I’m tired yet wired. Hmm.
I am seriously considering leaving this one site I visit like all the time. Well used to visit-Scribblers. I just don’t know if I want to and will find the time for it. It’s been like pushed aside. Of course I will miss the people on their A LOT, but…I’ve been thinking a lot lately since my depature of normal obsessive usauge of the computer and the web.
That thinking has led me to believe that I may no longer be interested in such things. That maybe it’s time to move on. Of course I’ll have this blog and MSN to keep in contact with those I wish to, but Sims I may drop. And of course I’ll edit photos and such. I spent enough money on the program. Haha.
It’s so cold here. My aunt said it’s the same temp in Chicago. So much for ’sunny California’.
We rented the awfulest movie the other night. It has to be one of the worst I’ve ever seen. (My mother said that also.) “Lady in the Water”. Gah. DON’T EVEN BOTHER. It was completely out there and nonsensical. It was…there was no emotion in it or connection. The characters didn’t have facial expressions or changes in their tones of voice for yelling or a certain scene filled with new comprehension. The guy just automatically accepted the fact that she was a water nymph from ‘Blue World’. WTH?
Sixth Sense was good, but that guy has just been falling lower and lower with each movie, becoming worse and worse. He needs a new…perspective.
That’s the word of the day: perspective. Look it up, because I’m too lazy.
I need to go to the bookstore. I’m out of books to read right now.
Tomorrow-I think-my sister and I are running over to this place to apply for jobs. Wish us luck. XD
Well, I’m going to go. It’s getting late. I’m cold and tired.
Happy coming New Year all! And goodnight.
Filed under: Random Thoughts
I’m in a much better mood today. Actually I started off the day in a pretty foul mood, but after a while I chilled out.
I am considering renaming this blog…if that’s possible. So far the only ideas I have are ‘Gazette de Gabrielle’. It’s okay. I just don’t think that ‘Vent’ qualifies as a name for this blog anymore. Which is good news.
So it’s around 6 PM and thank God all of the presents are wrapped. We will be eating dinner pretty soon. And another thing that I’m happy about is that my annoying little cousin isn’t here. Hopefully he won’t be later on either. He’s 12 and just uttertly…ugh. He acts as if he is attention deprived and like he has to entertain you 24/7 or something. My mom and I were going crazy.
For a while there the web wasn’t working. The stupid guy didn’t set it up right. Dummy. And our DirecTV has been shut off because we are switching to Charter Cable, but it wasn’t supposed to be shut off until Tuesday. My mom called them but they refused to turn it back on. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.
It’s pretty cold around here. This morning on the way to church it was foggy. Couldn’t see I think 100-200 feet in front of you. But it was cleared up by about 12:00.
I’m just trying to kill time right now before supper. I can’t wait until tomorrow morning. But it’s going to be sucky when my aunt and uncle leave. They will be back in 4 months though. XD
Not much else to say except all is in order for Christmas. There’s so many presents under the tree it is sick. I’m terrified of the mess this house is going to be in tomorrow morning. Then comes the cooking. I hate that. It was so much better when I was a little kid and all I had to do was open my presents, get dressed in my Christmas outfit, and play with the toys I had recieved.
Not now.
I finally finished Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Great book. Basically he clarifies like EVERYTHING having to do with Christianity-not as a ‘religion’-and puts it all into laymen’s terms. Laymens means ‘normal people who speak regular English’ like me.
Have to paint my nails and etc. for tomorrow. Have to look prettyful. Haha. And that’s about it. I guess I’m going to go because not much else to say. I am so worn out though from this past week. Starting Tuesday I shall be on ‘Lazy Vacation’, which is time for me to be just lazy.
Hmm. Hopefully it can happen. Well all I want to say besides ‘bye’ is that since ridding myself of my web obsession and focusing more on real things, and my beliefs, I feel MUCH BETTER. And a lot happier. So now that I am pretty content I am going to try to keep those things that bug me at bay and focus on ze future. After all the New Year is coming soon.
Merry Christmas!
I kept thinking a few things would happen or be the result of my sister obtaining a driver’s license and I think I am correct. For one thing she now has an obsession with going by herself. And for another, she is the main driver of ‘my’ car.
I don’t believe it’s “MY” car really anymore.
Here is what everyone says about my driving:
Mom: “She’s nervous” “Not a natural” etc.
Sister: “I’m better than you” “I’ve been driving longer than you” “You can’t handle this” “You go too fast” “You go too slow”
My father doesn’t say anything really.
My aunt did say I’m a good driver by everybody praises my sister’s driving. And I’d be fine with that if I were allowed to drive my car more, but I’ve come to the point where I don’t even bother asking or mentioning that I wish to drive.
For some reason I feel like crying. I’ve been like that these past few days. It’s probably just hormones. Gah.
Oh and another thing that’s been bugging me lately is how my mother and sister like to ‘gang up’ on me. “She’s so immature”, my mother says and my sis agrees. Right there! When I’m in the middle of them in the backseat. Stuff like that hurts when it comes from people you love/care about. And I’m especially emotional right now and I really don’t know why.
I feel gah…I guess envious of my little sister. She doesn’t have to do so much around the house like me. My mother hasn’t really either lately. It’s ALL put onto me. I have to make my parents’ bed, do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, clean the floors, take care of my room, the laundry, run back and forth when someone wants something and vaccuum when my sister doesn’t. I’m going a little crazy.
I’m being selfish I guess. I feel under appreciated.
Isn’t that silly?
And I’m not at all excited about opening presents on Christmas morning for some reason. I guess because I’ve fallen away from my old materialistic views.
Well I hate what I’ve wrote so far in here so I am going to go. I’m in an odd mood and frankly I don’t like it.
At least I’ve noticed that stress has GREATLY decreased since not going on Scribblers lately or MSN. Well I’ve been AVOIDING actually is a better word.
Alright byes. Merry Christmas!
Filed under: Random Thoughts
It’s somewhat odd that since starting this blog entitled ‘Vent’ with the purpose to vent that I haven’t really vented on here. It’s as if starting this space for ranting and raging I no longer have that need. Hmm.
If so that is a good thing, but it makes me think.
Did a lot of Christmas wrapping today and cleaning. I didn’t get to get out of the house today because I did so much around here. Just got done with dishes and some laundry right now. Gah. I’m tired and worn out.
I’ve noticed that standing on my feet for so long tends to aggravate my legs, well my knee (past injury). But it doesn’t happen ALL of the time. Maybe it’s just when I hold my legs very straight. Hmm.
Tonight was the last night of Channuakah (sp?) so my aunt and uncle gave my sister and me one present each. I got this AWESOME Audrey Hepburn book called: Audrey Hepburn Treasures. Inside it tells her entire life story but there’s also little pockets filled with copies of letters, pictures, newspaper clippings; just all sorts of personal things. It’s great.
I’m done shopping finally. My dad is the only one who has to go tomorrow to get my mum something and he’s going to pick up some shoes for him. He told my mom today-TODAY-that he needs a new pair of shoes. She goes “I’m done shopping though.” Yup. So he’s going to go pick some up tomorrow.
Oh! I have some REALLY good news. My sister passed her Driver’s Test today! I haven’t had a chance to look over her test results yet but she’s got her license. XD
My aunt cooked a meal of mainly Jewish dishes tonight. It was pretty good. I really liked the potato pancakes, I can’t remember what they’re called exactly. Well, I do, but I can’t spell it out. They look like hashbrowns, but they are good.
Monday is Christmas! The presents are exploding around the tree! Gah. And my mom said we aren’t done wrapping. But, I’m not into the presents as much as I used to be as a kid. I guess people just tend to get that way.
Alright I must leave. We are probably going to watch a movie or play this board game called Pictionary.
Merry Christmas!
Today my aunt and uncle had to go up to Union City to meet a client and because my uncle’s aunt found this out they had to go to Palo Alto to visit them. They won’t be back until 11 PM most likely.
So today I got to be lazy. Shopping wears me out. It wore my mom out as well. I don’t know how people handle it everyday. I guess when you have no life it’s exciting or something. But wouldn’t you get tired of it? I do.
Anyways I have to go to this Christmas thing for church in a little bit here. It’s lasting for only a couple of hours, but it’ll be okay I hope.
I’ve found myself slowly getting ‘weaned’ away from the internet. Or computer. Sims are no longer ‘OMG’ to me and neither is Scribblers. Or MSN.
Some of you may say “Something is wrong with you.”
But I think it’s a good thing.
Christmas is on Monday. Woot! My dad’s sister is coming up too so we’ll have a full house that day. It should be a good day. I like the family aspect of the holidays more than presents. No, really, I do.
After Christmas I must go an apply for this one job. I had planned on it today, but I didn’t feel like it. And after today I probably won’t have time until after Christmas. Oh well.
Not much to tell because I haven’t done much today. Watched my soap, sat around, got NORMAL WEB BACK. Yes! Cable modem thingy!
I’m freezing. My hair is wet. I must leave and dry it in a few minutes.
I have noticed since my lessening computer usage I no longer type ‘gah’ or ‘lol’ and things like that as much. I love that result at least.
So, Gabbie will no longer be attempting to write Sims stories. That is final.
I just don’t understand how some people can produce like 20 or less chapters that can come together and create a book because they are talented can just be satisfied with it. They’re satsified with it sitting there on that website, hoping someone rates it high, likes it a lot and passes it onto their online friends. It’s…bleh when you think about it. And you also hope that no one steals your idea one day and makes a bestseller out of it.
I’m so comfortablly like tired right now that I don’t want to go to this Christmas thing. I’m in a state of ‘fuzziness’. If that makes sense.
But I must go. If my sister doesn’t go Iwon’t go. Bleh. I’m in that type of mood of laziness. Haha.
Gah.
I now know why I haven’t been as fond of shopping as I used to be. It’s hectic, crazy, and people are unbelivably materialistic. And I’m not that way anymore.
While shopping I realized a few other things. One of them was that since joining a Critique Group on Scribblers I have been unable to write really. Well anything that I would like to pursue. It’s had a reverse effect.
I dropped it.
I sent my resignation thing a few minutes ago. Yes!
I’ll still get on Scribblers for RP and Newsletter and contests and stuff like that. But I think that writing for the Sims online Exchange is a waste of time, energy, and talent (if you have it). When I think about it…hmm…it actually seems somewhat silly. Yes, silly, that’s the word. Like a child would write for it.
I’m an adult and if you’re going to spend a lot of time writing I say write for REAL. For publication that can be HELD.
I’ve also come to terms that I spend or actually used to spend too much time on that site. There’s no time for a life if you get caught up in so many things. Or become obsessive with RP like I was. Now I can survive without it. And frankly…it doesn’t matter that much at all. I may even be quitting Paperback RP.
Yes, Gabbie has finally seen the light outside of the tunnel of obsessive Scribbler-ness. And I am searching for a life outside of it. lol
It should be a ‘hobby’ not a way of living. That’s my opinion though.
Another thing I noticed, and I hate to admit it is that I let my temper get the best of me too much…sometimes. I am trying to stop that, but I just realized it today actually.
I got a new banner up there, or ‘custom header’ as it is said here on WordPress. I like this one a bit more. It’s less…silly. Haha. I’m liking that word tonight.
The truth of that matter is I believe I was depressed for the last few months and I’ve finally come out of it. When I get depressed I like to focus or ‘obsess’ over one thing and I think other people do too as well…but anyways…uh. Oh, yeah. My outlet for my discontent was Scribblers, Sims, and other stuff that I can’t think of at the moment. But it was all things that kept me busy and sort of out of a normal life in a way.
Gah. Talking about it should upset me, but I’m glad that I admitted that I was retarded for a bit. lol I became attached to PIXEL CHARACTERS! Pixels! This irritates me. And I just don’t hold that much value on that anymore.
Of course I will always come on Scribblers, edit things, enter the Sims contests, but I don’t think I’ll write or RP unless it has more of a ‘fun’ atmosphere. And in my opinion Paperback does not. Open RP does though.
I love writing, RPing, editing, and chatting. I can do the latter three but the writing…it’s been hard for me since I’ve joined a CG. Maybe it has to do with what CG. Hmm. Oh well. If I ever wish to make a Sims story I can always get a proofreader(s).
Right now I’m trying to actually decide on some college courses…finally. That’s why I’m ‘elimnating’ a few things that I can live without. lol And I’m applying for a job tomorrow. Yes, finally. Wish me luck. XD
I sound so evil.
Plus, I’ve gotten back into church. Gah. For a while there…I think that was part of my depression. And my aunt and uncle being here is helping. My dad hasn’t been doing great with his leg either. And when someone in my family feels like crap…I do too.
Alright I’ve spilled enough! Goodnight.
